Friday, February 5, 2010
shades of grey...
My husband is a very white and black or right and wrong kind of a person. Obviously there are exceptions but in most cases he holds a strong opinion or knows the answer. There is little gray in his life when it comes to the big things. At times this has been hard. For example-- Jen shares a feeling or thought and Mark responds with "No you are wrong". I say "but, uh no, this is how I FEEL" and Mark says "you may FEEL that way but it is wrong."--most of the time this is a very RIGHT answer backed up by evidence and truth.
His right and wrong is always well thought out. It is never a rash decision. My sister put it well today speaking of her fiance and my husband who are very similar in this area, "every decision they have made their entire life has been calculated" and from witnessing this it is rare that they calculate wrong. They operate not out of emotions or feelings but out of what they believe to be true and fact. Rarely do they have to experiment to find out if it is true--they don't need to find out for themselves. If someone else made the mistakes they most likely will not still need to dabble in this or that to find out for themselves. Yes, for most of us, living like this is hard and for a lot of us (females in particular) we could possibly go crazy. I also may add that Mark could probably come up with a million examples of times things weren't like this in his life but for the purpose of this blog I am focusing on the large percentage of time that things are this way.
So for Mark his source for things being black or white, right or wrong is the Bible. The infallible word of God. He has crazy strength and will power. If the bible says no than the answer is no. We don't need to waste one second thinking about it and we certainly will not try to interpret it differently so that we can have just a little of what isn't aloud. No is no. If the bible says we should stand for what is right and something is right then don't think about--do it. Let your voice be heard. It is challenging. I start doing the "well what about this", or what if "he thinks this or she says that". And Im sure he has thoughts like this at times but most of the time he does it no matter the consequences, knowing full well that God is on his side and tomorrow it will feel better even if today it does not.
I think about this a lot. Especially lately. At times I have a tough situation and I know what the bible says and yet I will pray for God to give me guidance. How silly. Is that not what the bible is for? Why do I not act on what it says without thinking. Once my pastor was giving a talk about lifegroups and joining a small community. He said "don't pray about this, the bible says to do it-instead pray about which one to be in." That hit me. No i don't need to pray about that which I have already been told to do or not do. I just need to follow through.
How hard is it to stand for what is right? How hard do we struggle to go against others because it is what God says to do. But what I think about is how hard is it to live with it if we don't obey? How much harder is it to live in a thousand shades of gray instead of black OR white. I often think the later is the easier in the end.
Of course there are tons of problems and situations where the bible doesn't say yes or no. And there are times where no one you know has been there and so you have no one else's experience to learn from. And thus you are left to sort out all of the grays and find which one is best.
But when something is black or white, as Christians, we should stand on it. We should speak up if we must. That doesn't mean be extreme or irrational-don't disown people or kick people out of your life. And It doesn't mean you shouldn't still be very in tune to God when doing ANYTHING. Everything should be done out of love. But sometimes we must say how we see it and then continue to love that person and be in every part of their life when they continue to live in the wrong.
I feel like Christians should be better at standing up for right and making solid decisions based on what the bible says. Something to think about I guess...