Hi friends. It has been a while and I thought I should update so that my mom and sister would quit whining. Mark and I came back to Lansing for the afternoon. It was good to get away and see my mommy and sister and eat pizza. Yum! OK thats all. BYE

"Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally..."

Hi friends! Things have been really good since I updated last. We had our second preview service and it went well. It was our first morning setting everthing up and it went smooth and everything was set up in time which was an answer to prayer. The band did great and Jon's message was really good. We got a chance to meet some new people and connect with some that we had been wanting to get to know more. Made some plans to hang out with a new family. They are a few years older than Mark and I and they have three kids. We really like them so it will be fun to get to know them better.

Last night we saw lots of Faith churches. Pastor Scott got ordanined at KCC so we were thankful to be able to go and see people and be there to support Scott. It was really good. A little bit emotional....for several reasons.

I told Mark last night that I feel like we have spent months trying to get where we were going and now that we are here we both are falling to our knees in front of the Lord saying "what now? who do you want us to be? who do you want us to reach?" We both have just reached a huge point of surrender just asking God to make us who he wants us to be. We are ready for him to take it all. It is a beautiful thing. God is beautiful.

We are going to go buy a bed frame today because ours isnt very good and it doesnt qualify warrenty restrictions for our bed. So thats exciting. I got my hair cut. I cut off about 8-10 inches. I really like it...my head feels much lighter. This friday and next we are doing outreaches at the Caledonia Football games. Im super pumped. We are going to work the concession stands and give away the first 1000 hotdogs free completments of Journey Church. We also get to hand out cards inviting people to our launch day! It will be fun to all do something together, to meet people and serve people in the Caledonia area. We are both really excited. We have sweet Journey t-shirts as well!

Well thats all in this life...peace out:)

He still comes back for me...Everythings gonna be alright be strong, beleive

He still comes back for me....Every time God comes back for me and wraps his arms around me and puts me on his shoulders and carries me when things get hard. These last few weeks have felt that way. They have been busy and full of change and it has honestly been really hard. I have had several nights of crying and my amazing husband has just wrapped his arms around me while I cried and prayed for me as I fell asleep. I dont even know what exactly has been so hard but in the down after the wedding alot of room opened up in my mind to begin to deal with things that I had been able to avoid for months. Jesus has picked me up and carried me so many times these last few weeks and every time he still comes back for me. He does that. He came back for us when he died on the cross for our sins. And he continues to come back for us.

The only reason I share these hard times is because I dont want anyone to think I have it all together. I dont want anyone to think that my life is perfect. And I certainly dont want anyone to think that I can do it on my own. Because I dont, its not and I cant. Its all my amazing King, a perfect and holy God and a beautiful savior. He keeps coming back for me as he will keep coming back for you if you will just let him. He loves us so much. Mark loves me alot. A man who will listen to me cry and hold me and pray for me until Im asleep really shows a lot of love. But his love isnt even close to that of our Heavenly Father. We arent perfect so we cant love like he can but we can accept his love and chose to be loved with a perfect love and HUGE love. It gets me excited just writing about it. I just want everyone to know and BELIEVE!!

"Everythings gonna be alright be strong, Believe"

I think Ill take my whole body and dive in head first...

Earlier this week the Children's ministry director for Journey Church asked me if I would be interested in leading worship for the children. I chuckled a little bit because it has been a year of going in circles about my passion for wanting to jump around, dance and sing like I was 5 and being way to scared to do it. I have said over the past year that I would like to do this. I have had several opportunities to be on stage in front of kids at Faith Church and every time I have wanted to deep down inside but have not had the confidence and courage to actually do it. So again I laughed because it seems as though people see potential and desire in me and just wont let up no matter who they are. Or perhaps...brace yourself...maybe its God. Profound I know.

So my thoughts this week as I prayed about were as follows...
*I want to but I'm scared
*I think God wants me to but I'm still scared
*I'm never going to get anywhere in life by being scared
*If I want God to use me I need to trust him and his calling
*I think it is time to have faith like a child and jump in ready for the new adventure...

SO I said yes. Now this may not be a big deal to any of you because it is indeed a small role its not like I just made the decision to travel over sees and bring thousands to know the Lord. Nope, just sing and dance with some kids. Learn to be a child again. But for ME it was big. It is the first time I will step out in faith on my own and try a position of leadership, to allow myself to be vulnerable and make mistakes, and to just follow God and see what he will do with me. Im excited. I'm scared. But I'm excited.

P.S. you can give me a pat on the back later but I found Michaels all on my own today. Yes I indeed found the address and ventured out with no help into Grand Rapids. Me who is directionally slow and does not know Grand Rapids at all found Michaels. I know pretty sweet:)

Its bitter-sweet

Life in Grand Rapids continues to be new, exciting and hard. Marks life is beginning to go full blast as the first preview service is approaching at the end of this week. He hectically trying to finish building the brand new sound system, get the band ready and prepared, and bring together all the other administrative things all while working 25 hours a week at Beaners and being newly married. It has all been a learning process. I in the meantime have been adjusting to being a wife- not just any wife- a pastors wife. No one was lying when they said it was hard. I have been learning and I would say learning very quickly to make the sacrifice of giving my husband up so that he can give the hours he needs to the church. It has been a challenge to balance and to look at it has a sacrifice and to not be selfish and feel as though I deserve more time. On the other hand it has given me plenty of time to get used to cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. Its fun playing wife but it can get a little bit tiring and for now there is only two of us. I also started at Beaners this week. I worked my first shift yesturday morning at 5:30 AM. That was new to me because the Beaners in Lansing did not open that early. It was fun adjusting to the new Beaners environment and meeting new people. I was thankful to be in a familiar environment though and not having to learn a new job--I have enough "new" right now. It has been a bitter-sweet adjustment. I really am enjoying being married and the newness has been exciting and I am excited for our future together with each other and Journey church. But I miss the familiarity of home, I miss certain people a lot, I miss having a church body and seeing the same people every sunday (Im way pumped for Sunday!), and I cant believe I am saying this but I miss being in school. I am starting to see all the student around here and am really craving to be back in the books. Hopefully God provides financially and time wise for going back to school to be in the near future.

Overall I have had some really rough days and some really good days. I think that is to be expected though. I have one foot in the war of money--our grocery budget- we have 5 dollars left and I need deoderant, bread and milk-- hmm it makes me laugh though because we could buy them with our tips but thats our fun money, and there is also part of us that is like we just got married we are supposed to be poor and starving...we are both far from starving. Plus if we were to run out of food at least we get all the coffee we want for free:)

Anyways I miss everyone...Im slowly beginning to understand that there are seasons for everyone in our lives including people and you have to say goodbyes. But it is hard nonetheless. I also feel like goodbyes with people were over looked with the craziness of the wedding...now I just crave the closure but I have to put it in Gods hands and know that we are following his will. Its all about trusting him right now as it should be. He is my rock and fortress. I will acknowledge him in all my ways and he will make my paths straight.

love you all!