Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Its bitter-sweet

Life in Grand Rapids continues to be new, exciting and hard. Marks life is beginning to go full blast as the first preview service is approaching at the end of this week. He hectically trying to finish building the brand new sound system, get the band ready and prepared, and bring together all the other administrative things all while working 25 hours a week at Beaners and being newly married. It has all been a learning process. I in the meantime have been adjusting to being a wife- not just any wife- a pastors wife. No one was lying when they said it was hard. I have been learning and I would say learning very quickly to make the sacrifice of giving my husband up so that he can give the hours he needs to the church. It has been a challenge to balance and to look at it has a sacrifice and to not be selfish and feel as though I deserve more time. On the other hand it has given me plenty of time to get used to cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. Its fun playing wife but it can get a little bit tiring and for now there is only two of us. I also started at Beaners this week. I worked my first shift yesturday morning at 5:30 AM. That was new to me because the Beaners in Lansing did not open that early. It was fun adjusting to the new Beaners environment and meeting new people. I was thankful to be in a familiar environment though and not having to learn a new job--I have enough "new" right now. It has been a bitter-sweet adjustment. I really am enjoying being married and the newness has been exciting and I am excited for our future together with each other and Journey church. But I miss the familiarity of home, I miss certain people a lot, I miss having a church body and seeing the same people every sunday (Im way pumped for Sunday!), and I cant believe I am saying this but I miss being in school. I am starting to see all the student around here and am really craving to be back in the books. Hopefully God provides financially and time wise for going back to school to be in the near future.

Overall I have had some really rough days and some really good days. I think that is to be expected though. I have one foot in the war of money--our grocery budget- we have 5 dollars left and I need deoderant, bread and milk-- hmm it makes me laugh though because we could buy them with our tips but thats our fun money, and there is also part of us that is like we just got married we are supposed to be poor and starving...we are both far from starving. Plus if we were to run out of food at least we get all the coffee we want for free:)

Anyways I miss everyone...Im slowly beginning to understand that there are seasons for everyone in our lives including people and you have to say goodbyes. But it is hard nonetheless. I also feel like goodbyes with people were over looked with the craziness of the wedding...now I just crave the closure but I have to put it in Gods hands and know that we are following his will. Its all about trusting him right now as it should be. He is my rock and fortress. I will acknowledge him in all my ways and he will make my paths straight.

love you all!

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