Procrastination..

I came to Panera Bread because I have a lot of things that need to get done before I go to work at 7. But naturally I get here and don't feel like doing ANYTHING! I want to go home and take a nap instead. Last week we were sick and not home and busy and so everything feels very behind but catching up sounds like no fun...

Sometimes it is just hard...

The last few days have been rough for me..I have been feeling pretty awful (attack of the cold sores AGAIN). I know it is because i have been working a lot and not sleeping a lot and my body just can't handle it. It is so easy for me when I don't feel good to emotionally get really down as well. I really struggle not get depressed when I am sick. It is really good to see the sun today. I feel like though getting sick is just the end of God teaching me something really important. The last few weeks I have had to rely on Him so much. I have just felt tired and warn out or just straight up not wanting to do the things that have to be done and instead of complaining (bible says to not complain about anything) I have been trying so hard to just trust God and lean on him and I cannot even explain how much easier and more fun these tough weeks have been because I looked to Jesus.

He is my hope, peace, joy and salvation. I have no idea how I made it 18 years without him. But what I do know is that I would never ever go back. He is my everything.

Why we don't have a television...

We have been staying with some friends kids while they are out of town this weekend. It has been fun as always but one thing that I always get excited about is that they have tv with cable. We have been here since Friday. Now I had a really long week last week and had the whole weekend off with no plans and was not feeling well at all so that plays into this a little. But I just realized that I have spent the whole entire weekend watching TV. I feel like I have been sucked into countless episodes of Law and Order.

I was just in the bathroom (I always have profound thoughts while visiting this room) and I realized that my praying and bible reading has been overtaken by the TV. I realized I have not worked out and I have pretty much done nothing because of the tv. Now I know this a lack of self control and that chances are I could have a tv and I would not spend every waking minute watching it but I suddenly miss the silence. I would rather not have to choose to watch tv or do something productive. I really appreciate it not being a option.

These are just my random realizations of why we do not have a tv. I do not think TVs or bad nor do I think those who have them should not. Just for me personally its not such a good thing. **disclaimer**

"Buy the truth" (Mark)

I just read this: "Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline, and understanding." This was shortly after the author encouraged his son to be careful not to overwork himself for the sake of riches and gain.

Basically, this author has seen and done it all, and he's drawn the conclusion that very few things are 'worth it.' From a guy with this perspective, I think it's worth noting that he says "Buy the truth," and especially "do not sell it." Truth is worth the price to buy, and so valuable that once you have it, you should never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER sell it (yes, that was a "Martian Child" reference).

This poses the question, what does it mean to "buy truth?" I think for me right now, it means pay whatever price is necessary to gain 1) wisdom, 2) discipline, and 3) understanding. As a person in a situation that makes me feel like I lack all 3, I can see how valuable these things are. I pray to God that He would help me grow in this way.

Just thought I'd share what's on my mind. When so many things are vying for my time, it's just nice to hear what's important from someone who knows what they're talking about.